Okay…so 2009 sucked and 2010…….

…not much better yet…

As I said in my last post, I lost my Grandmother last September…  That alone would have made the year suck, but add in being laid off, finding a new (ugh) job, Avery’s time/pay being cut 20% for most of the year….and you get one hell of a bad year.  2009 SUCKED…

2010…not so good either…  I lost my Grandfather on January 9th, 3:30am.  I haven’t really absorbed the fact that two of the most influential and important people in my life are now gone.  I don’t know how to cope with it…so I am avoiding it as much as possible.  Yes, I know…terrible idea…  It will hit me and it will be ugly when it does.  But for now…  ::sigh::

Still not sleeping…without meds…  I haven’t slept a full night without the aid of sleep meds since July.  It’s a bitch, but that’s what stress and depression does to me.  Some people sleep all the time, I don’t sleep at all.  I’m pretty much a zombie…all the time.  Sometimes I forget my way home.

Nothing happy to report.  Sorry…  Hopefully something good will happen soon, I could use it.